


my lover is sweet to me like june

by poalimal



Series: sam/steve drabbles [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Drabble, F/M, Gen, M/M, Scent memory, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 09:20:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19331671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poalimal/pseuds/poalimal
Summary: 'You always complain about the taste of produce these days, I figure fresh-picked strawberries oughta shut you up.'





	my lover is sweet to me like june

 

They stopped off in Atlanta for the long weekend, and, by mutual agreement, did not mention their next planned stop. By some miracle, they managed to get two beds at a beautiful little B&B, only 20 minutes from the city. Thank God for Yelp - thank God for last-minute cancellations.

Up the cramped, creaking stairs they walked, only a breath's distance between the two of them. The hallway on the second floor was wider, filled with golden light from the summer sun outside. It smelled like gardenias, like honey cakes, like something Steve hadn't smelled in a long time.

Steve's heart thumped, easy; and he couldn't keep his eyes off of Sam.

'So, Denise just got back to me,' Sam was saying, looking down at his phone, 'she's busy today - my fault, for the late notice - going berrypicking with the fam. But,' here, he sent a sideways grin at Steve, his eyes crinkling up before his lips curved out, 'she said we're welcome to come with? What do you say? You up for it?'

'Yea, that would be,' Steve got caught up in a yawn, 'no, that would be great.'

'I dunno, man, you look pretty tired,' Sam said, letting Steve go ahead of him into the room. Steve nodded at Sam gratefully, squeezing the thick of his shoulder with his free hand. As always, the touch of him, his warm, heavy weight, made each joint of Steve's thumbs prickle with pleasure. 'I can go alone, I don't mind.'

Like hell he was making Sam go all by himself - that'd just be another strike against him, as far as Sam's family was concerned.

'If you're not tired,' Steve tossed their bags onto the left bed, and dropped down heavy beside them, 'then I'm not tired.'

'You think I'm not tired?' said Sam. His voice was very low, very far away. Steve closed his eyes for just a second. 'Steve - I'm exhausted.'

 

* * *

 

_After the serum, he could pick her voice out in a bar crowded with women and soldiers, he could recognise her walk even in a blackout... but it was her scent that he knew her by most of all._

_Talcum, gardenia... and something earthy, something that made him flush._

_'I think,' he told her once, 'I could spend every day of every year of my life with you, and you would still manage to surprise me.'_

 

* * *

 

He awoke gradually, the layers of sleep lifting from his shoulders. Another dream; another memory. Maybe one day that was all he would ever have.

The room was dark, the window was open, the cicadas were singing - and Sam was sitting on the bed across from his, crying.

He hid it from Steve, but Steve could taste it in the air, whenever he did.

'I smell strawberries,' Steve said, idiotically. He must've fallen asleep. 'Did you go without me?'

Sam was silent for a while - and then he laughed. 'Yea,' he said. 'It was a beautiful day, out in the sun. You would've liked it, I think.' He cleared his throat. His voice was still rough. 'The berries are downstairs, if you want any. You always complain about the taste of produce these days, I figure fresh-picked strawberries oughta shut you up.'

Sam was..., Sam was so _good_ at setting him at ease, at distancing them both from how he felt. And it was natural that he would feel this way, sad or alone or whatever it was that he was feeling - stuck with someone he couldn't trust with himself fully. Stuck with someone who was stuck in between, neither able to move forward or go back.

Steve's mouth began to fill with apologies. I'm sorry for hurting you, he thought of saying, for wanting you, for not being good enough to send you away. One day, I won't do this to you anymore. One day, I won't let myself do this to you anymore.

'Thank you, Sam,' he said, instead - the tail-end of all that he really wanted to say. 'I don't know what I'd do without you.'

 

* * *

 

He came home, uneasy, to absolute silence.

'Peg?' he called out, pulling off his coat. He turned on the lights. No one responded. 'Natto?'

He thought he heard a giggle coming from the kitchen. Hm.

The light flicked on as he rounded the corner into the dining room. 'Surprise!' Peggy blew a noisemaker away from his face, and Natalie tossed up a handful of cut-up coloured paper all over him.

'What on earth!' said Steve, shocked.

'Happy birthday, Daddy! We baked you a cake!' said Natalie, gesturing toward the table with a big smile. The cake was beautiful, lopsided and covered in candles - and strawberries. Peg must've picked them up fresh this morning, after she'd seen him off at the station.

It smelled like-- like--

'It's strawberries with cream,' Natalie was saying, ''cus that's my favourite, but Mummy said you wouldn't mind-- oh!, oh!, Daddy, don't cry! I'm sorry, it's my fault, we should've made vanilla. Please don't cry, Daddy, oh, no, please don't.'

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by the line 'We can get strawberries year round, which look beautiful and taste of nothing' from the 2014 BBC article [The World's Most Endangered Food](http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20140401-the-worlds-most-endangered-food) by Rachel Nuwer. This fic also touches on a lot of the same themes as trash4ficsaboutlurv's [Well-Adjusted](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8745295), which I re-read fairly recently.
> 
> The noisemaker that Peggy blows would look something like [this](https://www.amazon.co.uk/PARTY-BLOWERS-FILLER-BIRTHDAY-CHRISTMAS/dp/B017HIEAN0/ref=sr_1_10?keywords=party+noise+maker&qid=1561301819&s=gateway&sr=8-10). I'm not actually certain if it was around in the 50s/60s.


End file.
